southern dramedy

Hunter: Hunter/fisherman who has permission to hunt on propertyPoacher #1: Real name Breezy, but friends call him "Windy" Poacher #2: Didn't have ID on him. Man: Name sounds like Kay-vin Lay.

A hunter comes upon two poachers and asks them what they're doing.

Poacher #2: We're fishing. Kay-vin gave us permission.

Hunter: Oh, he did, did he? Let's have that phone number.

(Hunter dials phone.)

Hunter: Hey, your boys Breezy and Poacher #2 are fishing over here at a pond that I'm watching and they say you gave them permission to fish.

Kay-vin: Well, they're wasting their time, I done fished all the fish outta there.

Hunter: I don't think the property owner would like that.

Kay-vin: I don't need permission to fish. I fish where I lak. And I gotta size twelve boot ah lak to stick up folks like you butt. Matter ah fact, ah had four or five operations from breakin' people's asses with mah fut. If you wanna come over, ah'm at home and have time to snap my foot on your ass, too. Come on over.

Hunter: We'll see what the landowner has to say about this. But I'm sure we can work something out.

(Hunter hangs up, goes to leave property. Later in the day, he receives this message recorded on his cell phone.)

(actual transcription) Hunter, this is Kay-vin Lay. Um. I talked to you this morning. And when I talked to yah, that was in a joking manner. Because the reason being - I thought you was somebody else play'n a joke. But it comes it to find out a couple of my buddies got caught on what seems to be your pond and throwed the blame on me. And which I thought you was one of them is the reason I told ya I'd put my foot in your butt or blah blah blah. But it was all a joke. Ah misunderstandin'. But if you wud, call me back, cuz I'd lak to find out how ya got my cell phone number.

katherine sandoz moliere w mullet1.jpg

Molière with a mullet