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Cabela's claims to be the "world's foremost outfitter." Foremost means first or before anything else, so okay, but they also sell an action figure (doll) called Hunter Dan, foremostly outfitted with action hogs, elk and such. Mr. Dan married, or goes out with, er, Hunter Anne (unfortunate hairline) and another thing, Cabela's clearly didn't focus group the wife thing very well.

My point? None, except to say, "Shoulda called me," seeing that I married the real Hunter Dan.

My husband's capacity for all things hunting is inexhaustible. Here's an intinerary for an ideal day:

1. He wakes and watches turkey, fish and deer, or maybe elk, if a really good day, hunting on The Man Channel. 2. In bathroom, "reads" Field & Steam, Trout Something, the Cabela's catalog (can recite specs of all ammunition, fishing reels, boots, gibby), Outdoor Life, Elk R Us, and Turkey R Us (can't remember the name of these magazines), Boats R Us, Fishing Fish, etc. 3. Leave for preserve, refuge, reserve or plantation. 4. Drive Polaris type mobile. "Scout" and drive. 5. Return home. Repeat 2, then 1, then nap. 6. Wake. Go online, check weather and water situations. Conduct short environmental meeting. 7. Go to some roads or some "leases" and call in some turkies. 8. Meet for night fishing under the lights where men discuss specs for ammunition or make long range plans for future hunting trips. 9. Return home to repeat no. 2. and to find me reading Shoot Me Now.

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